


Haikyuu!! x Reader Angst

by haikyuties



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-06 14:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8756380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haikyuties/pseuds/haikyuties
Summary: I'm really a sucker for angst, but I'm also a sucker for fluff. So I really don't know what to classify this little collection as? Lmao enjoy though.





	1. Intro

Yeah, this summary says all!  
I update once a week~


	2. Tsukishima Kei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I call him Kei in this because reader and Tsukishima are on first name basis? Yeah, just roll with it.

Kei couldn't take this anymore.  
He couldn’t.  
He could lie to everyone else, but he needed to stop lying to himself.  
He was disgustingly, horrendously, repulsively in love.  
And he couldn’t even help it.  
It was 3:00 AM on a Friday night and he could feel his eyes start to dry.  
Although no matter how hard he tried, they never shut.  
He would do anything to just have her in his arms right now and tell him that he's loved.  
But despite how close she was to him, it still felt like she was miles away.  
Never fall in love with your bestfriend.  
His phone buzzed almost ironically, a silly little text of “You still awake?”  
From her, of course.  
He didn’t want to seem too desperate and answer it immediately.  
But he did, nonetheless.  
And he plunged into deep late night conversation with her, per usual.  
And it made his heart swell.  
At one point she asked him why he was still up and, at 3:30 AM, he had no sense of fabrication.  
He didn’t even double think about lying about his feelings.  
“Thinking about you…” He typed.  
And immediately regretted it.  
His phone buzzed three more times afterwards, but he was too scared to answer.  
He threw his phone on his nightstand, silently cussing at himself.  
This is why you don’t talk late at night.  
Eventually, curiosity got to him, and the messages read.  
“Really?”  
“What’re you thinking about?”  
“If I’m going to be the reason you’re up all night, I’d rather it be for another reason ;)”  
Kei choked, thrashing himself up and burying his face in his hands.  
“You’re disgusting.”  
He typed rapidly.  
He couldn’t believe she would ever say that.  
Although it was obvious she was joking.  
It still flustered him beyond belief.  
“I was joking, you ass.”  
“You still haven’t told me why you’re thinking about me, though.”  
Kei groaned.  
He didn’t know what to do.  
At all.  
“Goodnight.”  
Was all he said, setting his phone down and whining in agony.  
She was cynical, witty, cunning, and most of all, flirty.  
And it wasn’t helping him get over her.  
He was falling so painfully hard.  
And it hurt.  
His phone buzzed one more time and hesitantly, he looked.  
“I love youuuu <333 don’t stay up too late, it’s not healthy <333 ”  
He rolled his eyes, allowing a silly little smile invade his face.  
He knew she meant that in the most platonic way possible, but he couldn't control how happy those pathetic words made him.  
He knew he couldn't get his hopes up too high, but for a moment, he believed that maybe, she loved him too. 

 

~~~

 

He saw her again that Monday, his heart hammering at the sight of her.  
He despised himself for being this excited to see his best friend.  
Someone who he saw literally everyday.  
She dragged him by her locker, per usual, and planned on talking with him until the bell rang, per usual.  
“You look like a drunk Mormon today.” She began, nudging him in the side playfully.  
“Well atleast I don’t look like a knockoff version of Audrey Hepburn.” He snarled.  
She looked up from her locker combination that she fumbled with and smiled.  
He loved her smile. Especially her genuine one.  
The one that melted his heart.  
The one that could light up an entire city.  
The one she only ever showed to him.  
“It’s still an honor that you say that I even look like her at the slightest.”  
Kei rolled his eyes, resting his hand on her head and pushing down.  
“I hate you.”  
“You don’t mean that.”  
“I do.” He nodded.  
When really, it was the exact opposite.  
“You’re trash.”  
“Oh really?” She sneered. “If anything, I’m compost, because even if I am trash, I still have a pretty damn good purpose in this world, huh?”  
“I love how you're trying to get deep using a metaphor about shit and old banana peels.”  
She rolled her eyes.  
“At least I don’t collect plastic dinosaurs.”  
“Oh please, this again? At least it's not aliens.”  
“Leave my aliens alone.” She threatened with a smile she tried to hold back.  
“We know that dinosaurs are real, so it's normal to like them. We don’t even know if aliens exist or not, so your obsession is invalid.”  
“We don’t know if God is real or not yet 6.8 billion people on this shit planet still believe in one.” She peeped, grabbing his arm and attempting to take it off her head. “And don’t even get me started about the aliens aren't real thing. Remember what happened last time, Kei?  
Kei rolled his eyes, shoving his hands in his khaki pockets.  
“I know Miss. Roswell, I’ve heard your tangent before.”  
She smirked up at him, saying something along the lines of, “So I guess I won this one, huh?”  
All he did was nod.  
Today, he had found out that he loved the way she said his name.  
Kei.  
It rolled off tongue so melodically, it made him actually melt.  
Before they walked off to their designated classes, she took his hand in hers and gave it a tight squeeze.  
“See you later, Saltasaurus.” She hummed.  
“Saltasaurus?”  
“Yeah, get it?”  
“I get it, but it’s not salt, it's Salta…”  
She rolled her eyes, letting her hand fall from his slowly.  
She smiled at him one last time and left.  
He was sure, in that moment, that jumping off the very top of Burj Khalifa would have a lighter fall impact then he had falling for her.  
If she had been anyone else on this planet, telling her how he felt would be like nothing, and if she rejected him, oh well.  
But that's not the case.  
If she rejected him he would only lose someone who he was so painfully in love with, he would lose his best friend as well.  
And no matter how tough and aloof he acted, he was sure that he would break down if were to happen.  
But he also knew that he couldn’t live like this much longer.  
All of first block was a pitiful nightmare, waiting for the rest of the day so he could spend all his classes with her.  
English was a bore, a class too easy for both of them.  
Besides that, everyone in the class was agonizingly annoying, so that didn't help with the tedium.  
She sat behind him, though and as much as he wanted to say he hated it when she subconsciously drew shapes into his back after finishing her work, he didn’t.  
And everyone thought it was “so cute.” that they did everything together.  
It wasn’t.  
Well, maybe it was.  
He wanted it to be, at least.  
During lunch they would run off to an abandoned hall and listen to music.  
Neither of them liked noise much.  
Apparently, everyone thought that was cute, too.  
And for some reason, they spent every dying day together and acted more like a couple then actual couples in school, and it made Kei wonder why they weren’t dating.  
Sometimes, they would even say that they were dating just to get teasing peers to stop pondering.  
With a ton of thinking and multiple headaches later, he decided he should just go for it.  
And if something bad were to happen, oh well.  
He was Kei Tsukishima.  
After school on most days, they just hung around his house.  
Usually being cynical idiots and screaming over nothing.  
They had almost kissed once, though.  
Partly because he tried, but played it off like it was an accident.  
He would die to kiss her.  
She didn’t even have to like him back, but he would do anything to kiss her once, just to see how it felt.  
He was sure it would be incredible.  
He also craved to touch her, although he had before.  
Platonic cuddles were rare, but very much valued.  
He loved them, but had too much pride to ask for them.  
And she, well, he didn’t even know if she liked touching him or not.  
Because as far as he knew, they were just “besties”.  
And he hated it.  
She sat away from him on his bed, aggressively typing something on her phone.  
He needed to tell her.  
Because he wasn’t sure that he could take anymore of this agony.  
“Miss. Roswell.” He chimed, reaching out and tugging at the collar of her shirt, pulling her back on the bed.  
She screeched, sitting up almost immediately and turning to face him.  
“I hate you.”  
“No you don’t.”  
“Yeah, I don’t.” She huffed. “What do you want?”  
“Can we talk about something?”  
Kei felt himself get sick.  
Oh god, it was too late now.  
“Yeah! Whats up?”  
He had no idea what he was going to say.  
He was just sitting there, frozen, staring at her like a deer in headlights.  
Why hadn't he thought of what to say before hand?  
“What are you trying to do? See if we could communicate telepathically?” She teased, flicking him on the nose.  
He scoffed.  
“No, I just-”  
He sighed, shaking his head aggravatedly.  
“Nevermind.”  
“Kei, oh my god.” He heard her giggle. “This is what dramatic teenage girls do. Get you all worried and then immediately dismiss the topic. Don’t be like that with me, you know you can tell me anything.”  
Kei pursed his lips.  
“Well I can’t tell you this.”  
He heard her sigh.  
“Listen, babe. I’m going to take this seriously. No joking. Unless you want me to be worried sick about you for the next 15 hours, I suggest you tell me whats wrong.”  
Kei gulped, almost visibly. The butterflies in his stomach had transformed into hornets and,  
Oh god, has he never dreaded anything more.  
“I’m in love with you.” He muttered, almost strenuously, his eyes glued to his lap just in case, oh god, she was going to rip him apart.  
“You’re kidding me.” She whispered, deadpan.  
“I’m not fucking joking.” He said, a bit louder. “It’s been six months where you've been on my goddamned mind every minute of every hour, and it really hurts to know that the girl you love will only ever see you as her best friend. I don’t care anymore, drop me. I just needed to get this out.”  
He hissed in one breath, his heart hammering, slamming against his ribcage like a drunken inmate.  
“Why would I drop you?” She peeped in a wavering voice.  
“Because you probably don’t want to be around a guy who likes you. I’ve seen it before, you know.”  
They sat there in silence for a moment, until suddenly, out of nowhere, he was hugged.  
“You’re not lying to me?”  
Kei grumbled.  
“Of course I’m not lying to you why would I fucking be lying?”  
“Just making sure.”  
He let himself hug her back, shaky hands embracing her around the waist.  
They sat there for some time, saying nothing as they just held each other.  
She positioned herself after a while, looking him in the eye with the softest, most sincere look he had ever seen out of her.  
It was almost heart shattering.  
“I love you, too.”  
Kei Tsukishima had never felt happier in his 15 years of fabricated life.  
“This isn’t going to change anything, right? We’re not going to be all lovey-dovey pretentious now, are we?” Kei pondered, his hands still firm on her back.  
“Like hell we aren’t. Who do I look like to you, Kei?” She smiled, bumping her nose against his.  
“I wouldn’t mind being your girlfriend though, officially, not just in a way that gets others to shut up.”  
Kei smiled, his entire chest fluttering in happiness.  
He could’ve screamed, or maybe cried. Possibly both.  
He knew he was going to do both once she left.  
“I would like that.”


	3. Kageyama Tobio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "King of the Court" era heartbreak

He was crying.   
He never cried.   
Before today, the last time he had cried was when he was a toddler.   
But today, he was broken.  
He never knew that his team didn’t like him.   
He never knew they wished he would just leave.   
He never knew that nobody cared about him.   
He never knew how harsh he was being.   
He never knew.   
Hunched up in the far corner of the auditorium entry way and the senior lounge was where he sat, sobbing.  
The area was vacant, much to his pleasure.   
He had been crying into the sleeve of his sweatshirt for at least twenty minutes now and god, did the emotional stab in his chest sting.   
He involuntarily gasped, regaining the breath he had lost through small whines.   
And then he heard footsteps.   
His heart lurched and his breathing stopped.  
Because, oh no.  
He would die before anyone saw him like this.  
He would wipe his tears and pick himself up and run if he could but he was like a rock.   
Stiff, numb, unmoving.   
“Tobio?”  
He felt his heart stop, the worst case scenario coming true.   
It was her.   
That girl.   
That girl with all the confidence in the world, who could make anyone fall in love with her in a split second.   
That girl with the best grades and the best mindset.   
That girl who was so disgustingly perfect that it made him want to vomit.   
“Hey, hey? Are you ok?”   
She stepped over to him cautiously, placing her bag down on one of the tables.  
“Get away from me, dumbass.”   
He hissed, baring his bloodshot eyes from his sleeve.   
When he looked up, he froze, because the look in this girls eyes was so horrendously genuine and caring.   
He hated her.   
She knelt down next to him, keeping her hands to herself.   
“What happened hun?” She whispered, her eyebrows furrowing.   
“It’s none of your fucking concern.”   
“Ok, ok. I understand.” She sighed, he noticed her run a hand through her hair. “I just want to help you.”   
“I don’t need your fucking help.” He snapped again, flashing her the dirtiest, hateful look he could muster. “Don’t you have better things to do with your life than butt into other people's problems?”  
He saw her eyes widen.   
Oh no.  
“Tobio, hun.” She began.  
He hated when he called him ‘hun’.   
“I don’t like seeing anyone like this, ever.” She shook her head. “And I know we aren’t exactly friends, but I care about your wellbeing. It breaks my heart to see you like this.”  
He froze.   
She didn't mean that, he told himself.   
“Yeah fucking right.” he spat. “You’re just like the rest of them. Fake. Fucking fake until they can’t be.”   
“Is this about your friends?” She cooed.   
“Teammates.” He began. “They said that I'm too egotistical, and only care about myself. They said I shouldn't play a team sport if I don’t care about the team and-” He paused to take a shaky breath.   
He was really doing this.   
“And they came up to me today along with my coach and said that I’m a good player, but I can no longer play because I don’t ‘work with the team’.” He choked up again, feeling the tears start to brim up in his eyes.   
“A-and it’s fucking stupid. I was the best player on that team I-” He huffed, looking up into her eyes.   
She probably thought he was weak.   
“You were.” She replied, wrapping an arm around his shoulders he stiffened, then relaxed.   
She was warm.   
“But if they kicked you off, that was their idiotic decision. Everybody made a mistake here.” She muttered.   
“I’ve seen you play before, Tobio and I have to admit, you were a bit harsh on your team. “  
Tobio froze.   
She was going to leave him too.   
“But that's not your fault. It's your teams for not telling you beforehand. You didn’t know.”  
She began to draw comforting circles into his shoulder blade.  
He hated this.   
“Tobio, I think you’re amazing, and it's their loss.” She smiled. “You didn't at all deserve to be treated like that but, now you know to open your eyes a bit.”   
He looked at her again, his eyes narrowing, tears fighting not to spill.   
“I fucking hate you.” He hissed, his mouth curling inwards.   
The tears lost the fight and poured out, dripping one by one down his cheeks.   
She brushed them away with her thumbs.   
Then he collapsed.   
He collapsed into her shoulder and felt the weight of the world collapse along with him.   
“I-I’m just so confused. I don’t know what I did wrong or what I said and it's not fair.” He choked.   
Her warm arms enveloped around him, her fingernails running softly along his back.   
“It's gonna be ok, Tobio…” She hummed, letting his tears dampen her shoulder.  
He was acting like a vulnerable little bitch in front of the school’s most wonderful girl.   
He hated her.   
“You don’t think I’m a freak, right?”  
“I don’t think you're a freak at all…” She sniffled. “I think you’re powerful, if anything. Crying is human. You’re fine.”  
He loved her.   
She wiped away his tears one last time and helped him to his feet.  
“I have to go back to chorus, are you going to be ok?”  
“I’ll be ok.” He muttered.   
She smiled softly up at him, and punched him playfully.   
“I believe in you, Tobio. I’m always here if you need to vent or anything.” She smiled, gave him one last lingering hug, then walked away.   
Tobio almost collapsed again. 

 

He saw her again later that day by her locker.  
She smiled at him.   
“You doing better?”  
“Yeah.”  
“That’s good.”  
He loved her.


	4. Tendou Satori

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi my names Callisto and there's nothing I love more than angst that gradually turns into fluff as the story progresses.

“What's wrong with Satori?”  
“I don’t know…”  
“He’s been off all day and I’m kinda worried about him.”  
“I’m sure he’s fine.”   
“Should I go check up on him?”  
“If you want.”  
“I do.”  
“I’m going home. Good luck.”  
“Thanks Waka, see you tomorrow!”  
“Likewise.”   
Satori gulped, the tears falling down his cheeks ceasing to stop.   
He knew she was going to burst in any second.   
He wanted to dry his tears and lock himself in his bathroom just to get away from her but,  
He couldn’t move.   
A knock rapped on the door, one that made him jolt in fear.   
There weren’t just butterflies in his stomach, there were hornets.   
“Satori, can I come in?”  
Silence.   
She came in anyways though.  
He heard a tiny gasp, then a shut of a door.   
He kept his eyes glued on the ceiling.   
He dare not move.   
He blinked harshly, a fresh set of tears rolling away.   
“Satori, whats wrong?”   
“Fuck off.” He hissed, his eyes snapping down from the ceiling and meeting hers.   
He probably looked disgusting.  
But that didn’t matter.   
She looked at him in the most pitiful, upset way and it disgusted him.   
“Don’t you fucking dare give me pity.”   
“I’m not giving you pity.” She cooed in a soft voice, barely above a whisper.  
“It hurts me to see you hurt.”  
Satori crinkled his nose, looking away from her and into his lap.   
“You don’t give a shit about me.”  
She huffed, shaking her head slightly.   
She leaned closer to him, wiping his tears off his face.   
If he had really despised this moment, he would’ve slapped her.   
There wasn’t anything more he wanted to do than collapse and just scream his feelings out.   
He couldn’t do that though.   
“Can you tell me what happened?”  
Satori shook his head.   
“That's alright.” She sighed, wiping away another tear.   
“Is there anything I can do, Satori?”   
It took him all his dignity to open his arms out shyly, his bloodshot eyes meeting hers.   
She smiled and shook her head understandingly.   
“C’mere, hun.”   
He sniffled, leaning onto her shoulder slowly, sitting in between her legs, practically engulfing her.   
His entire body wracked over with a sob.  
He sniffled pathetically, using her shoulder as a tissue.   
She didn't seem to mind, however.   
She ran her fingers over his back comfortingly, drawing mindless circles in places she knew felt good.   
“I’m a monster.” He croaked, suddenly, his grip on her shoulders getting tighter.  
“You’re not a monster, Satori.”  
“Everyone thinks I’m a fucking monster.”   
He paused, taking several panicky, deep breaths and continuing.   
“When I was younger I was constantly shut down because I’ve always looked weird, acted weird.” He stumbled over his words, his whole body shaking.   
He was going to kill himself once she left.   
What was going to happen now that his vulnerable side has been revealed?  
“Those opinions never changed. I’m still a monster, a freak. I hear what they say about me…” He sobbed, his nails digging into her shoulders. “Nobody likes me. I’m a monster.”   
He started sobbing again, his grip on her shoulders tightening.   
He had to be hurting her, but she did nothing but hug him sweetly.  
“That isn’t true, Satori.”  
“It’s true.”  
“Satori, not everybody's going to love you, but not everyone hates you. Wakatoshi loves you. Semi loves you. The rest of your team loves you. I love you…”  
Satori felt his heart jump at the three sacred words that she dared to utter.   
He lurched forward, his nails digging in painfully deep, a soft gasp heaving in her lungs.   
He released quickly, closing his eyes and nuzzling into the crook of her neck.   
“Thank you…” He hummed. “Promise me I’m not a monster?”  
“The only monster you are is The Guess Monster.” She cooed, rubbing the same part of his back where he had dug his nails into hers. “The best blocker in Miyagi.”   
Satori chuckled slightly, listing his head out of the crook of her neck.   
“Can I just vent to you? About everything?” He pondered.   
“Of course you can, hun.”  
With a deep sigh, he let everything go, cussing and tugging at his hair as he spoke about all the problems he didn’t even know he had.  
“Thank you.” He peeped as soon as he finished.   
“Anytime, baby.” She grabbed his face in her hands, running her thumbs over the freckles on his cheeks.   
He would’ve died on the spot if she kissed him.   
“I love you, you know that? If you’re ever doubting your worth or anything, I’m always here. Always. No matter what.”  
Satori shuddered, bumping his nose up against hers.   
“You’re too good for me, you know that?”  
“Lets not start with that.” She giggled, shoving her hands in her pockets.   
Satori shut his eyes, flopping back on his bed. ‘  
“Can we cuddle?” Satori pondered.   
“Oh?” She cocked her head, looking down upon him.   
Satori shook his head vigorously, grabbing her hand and tugging her down next to him.   
He clung onto her waist, resting his head on her chest.   
He smiled, shutting his eyes again.   
“Really?”   
“You said you’re always here.” He teased, his voice still quiet and raspy.   
“Fine.” She sighed sarcastically, cradling him against her.   
Satori felt the remnants of his anger and anxiety exit him in a sigh.   
“Did I hurt you?” Satori inquired suddenly, remembering the almost strenuous face she made when trying not to show she was uncomfortable.   
“Nothing I can’t take.”   
Satori slipped a hand underneath her shirt, dragging his fingers along her back.   
He could feel the dips in her skin where his nails had been, the hurt area hot.   
“I’m sorry.”   
“Don’t apologize.”  
Satori huffed, nuzzling into her.   
“You’re my best friend, y’know?”  
“I know.”  
“I love ya, y’know?”  
“I know.”   
“Can you stay here forever?”  
“Probably not.”  
Satori whined, drawing lazy circles over the indents he had made. He looked up, blinking sleepily.   
“You really are too good for me.” He yawned, flipping fallen hair out of his face.  
“I assure you, I’m not. If anything you’re too good for me.”   
Satori squawked, curling up oddly.   
He felt his heart start to flutter faster, an odd fluttering feeling erupting in his stomach.   
“Be my girlfriend, won't you?” He muttered in all seriousness.   
As soon as he said that Satori screamed internally, his stomach lurching.   
____ rolled her eyes, smiling softly.   
“I’m being serious.”   
Her expression froze, her smile faltering.  
“For real?”  
“I really like you…” He mumbled, holding her closer in case she were to leave.   
“Oh Satori…” She whispered, looking into his eyes. “I had no idea…”  
He felt his heart stop, her almost apologetic response feeling like an immediate rejection.   
“Yeah… Since like February I think…”   
She watched her mouth turn upwards, her eyes darting away from his.   
“That's a really long time.”   
“I know…” He groaned, scooting away from her completely and sitting on the edge of the bed.  
He heard her giggle.  
“That's nine months.” She continued. He heard her shift around, the weight on the bed changing.   
“Please don’t rub it in.”  
He suddenly felt arms wrap around him from the behind, a soft giggle echoing through his ear.   
“Since April.” She muttered.   
“What?” Satori asked, genuinely confused.  
It took him a moment to process what she had meant, then it hit him.  
“Oh!” He peeped.  
“OH!” He repeated, shouting this time. “Really?”  
“Yes really!”  
Satori blinked, watching her cheeks grow red as she looked down.  
Satori turned around, smirking maliciously.   
“Oh, so you will be my girlfriend?”  
She nodded, bumping her nose up against his lightly.   
“Of course I will, Satori.”


	5. Bokuto Koutarou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to post something where the guy isn't crying but here it is. Crying. God bless my filthy soul.

“I’ll never be good enough.” Koutarou choked into the crook of her neck.   
“Good enough for what?”  
“Good enough for anything.” Another sob wracked through his body, his tears dampening her sweater. She couldn’t breathe, tears brimming at her own eyes.  
She could never watch somebody else cry without crying herself.  
“Koutarou, you’re amazing…” She whispered, cupping his chin and lifting it off her shoulder.  
His bloodshot eyes widened, tears practically pouring out.   
She wiped away the fallen tears with her thumbs.   
“You’re the fourth best ace in the country! Do you know how amazing that is!”  
“Do you really have to rub it in that I’m not in the top three?” He chuckled, a small smile cracking through his saddened face.  
She felt her heart skip a beat.  
“Theres my Kou…” She muttered, wiping away the tears that had just began to spill.  
“Thank you for this…” He whispered, leaning his weight on her chest. “Thank you for everything, ___. Everything.” He sniffled, cuddling up to her torso, then sniffling again.   
They sat in comfortable silence, ___ absentmindedly drawing circles into his shoulderblades.   
“___, promise you’ll never leave me?” He croaked, looking up at her, eyes and nose still red.   
“I promise.” She nodded, her chest tightening. She felt so disgustingly horrible, because she knew she would eventually break that promise.   
She could never make promises on staying with people, because to her, people expired, and Koutarou’s expiration date was coming soon.   
College was starting in a few months, and she already had an acceptance and a scholarship to Waseda, a college in Tokyo, but a ways away, nonetheless.  
It was likely she’d never see him again.   
It would physically hurt him to know.   
It physically hurt her to know.  
Koutarou sat up, adjusted himself, then latched onto her again, pushing her down onto his bed.   
She smiled sweetly, cupping his chin.   
He looked at her with the softest, most loving eyes and to look into them made her heart hurt.   
They had been dating for years now and, never, not once, had his feelings ever faltered.   
She was going to have to break his heart.   
She sat up slightly and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, the familiar rumble in the back of his throat wracking shivers down her spine.  
She leaned back, not wanting to kiss him longer after knowing what she knew.  
But, of course, he insisted on more and peppered her skin with them, expecting an elicit squeal of some sort.   
However, she just sat in silence.   
“Babe are you upset now?” He muttered, pouting childishly.   
She shook he head. “No, no I’m just…” She trailed off, sighing. “Just thinking, baby.”   
She really didn’t want to leave the only thing in her life worth living for.  
She wanted him to lose interest, so leaving him wouldn't be as hard.  
Koutarou pouted, running his fingers along her collarbone.  
“What're you thinking about?”  
“College.” She stated, deapan.   
“Oh.” Koutarou muttered. “What about college?”  
“Where I’m going…”  
“Where are you going?”  
“Koutarou I-” She choked. “I’m going to Waseda. You said… you said ‘never leave me’ but Kou…” She whispered, exhaling deeply. “I’m gonna have to leave you. I’ve wanted to go to this college all my life and to find out they want me just as much as I want them is insane and I’m sorry but… when it comes to my education, my education comes first and…” She sighed to keep herself from crying. “I can’t… I can’t stay forever.”   
Koutarou gawked at her with wide eyes, and gulped.   
“Oh.” He whispered, his shoulders slumping. “Does this mean we're gonna…” He paused, his eyes shifting away from hers. "Break up?”  
Her eyes widened.   
Possibly.   
Yes...  
“Baby, baby, no, no.” She shook her head. “I’m just saying, I won't always be here...”  
“What if I applied to Waseda?” He stammered, leaning closer to her.  
___ raised an eyebrow, a small smile creeping onto her face.   
“I’d definitely get accepted. Y’know, best in the country and all!” He announced, placing his hands on his hips.  
“You’re really afraid to loose me, aren’t you?”  
“Terrified.” He hummed. “I love you more than anything else, than anyone else. You’re my number one. I need you.”  
___ gawked up at him, shaking her head slightly. Tears fought at the corners of her eyes and she thrusted herself up and kissed him rough and bruising and angry and god, she was going to stay with this boy.   
“If you wanna go to Waseda baby, you gotta apply. Right now.” She muttered, her fingers running along his spine.  
“Let’s apply for Waseda.”

 

~~~

 

Koutarou had been accepted.  
He had ran over to her house and scooped her up into his arms and spun her around and god, she hasn't seen him this happy since they won prelims.  
Half of her was so incredibly happy that this miracle boy would follow her through college and possibly beyond, but the other aching half of her wished he wasn't accepted so she could date new people and move on. Koutarou had been with her since their first year and he was starting to become old, like an apple that had been left out far too long in the fruit basket.   
“Babe this is so…” Koutarou exhaled, shaking his head in enthusiasm. “So amazing. I’m so happy.”  
“Me too, Koutarou.” She smiled, kissing the tip of his nose. “Me too.”

 

~~~

 

“Koutarou, can we have a serious talk?”   
“Yeah, babe, what's up?” She studied him momentarily, the crease between his eyebrows was alarming. He was extremely nervous.   
“You know I'm gonna be in college until I'm 24, right.” She stated. Koutarou nodded. “And I want to get used to my job and travel the world for quite a while before I settle down with someone, you know that right?”  
Koutarou nodded, although, judging by his pale face, he didn’t.  
“Koutarou, do you see a future for us?”   
Koutarou didn't reply, his hands balling into fists in his lap.   
“Of course.” He muttered.   
“Me too.” She replied. Koutarou scrunched his nose. “I just don't want to get married and all that shit too fast.”  
“Me neither. I wanna be able to appreciate my youth before I’m doomed to adultery hell.” ___ giggled, leaning onto his shoulder, nuzzling into his bicep.   
“Will you travel with me, Koutarou?”  
“I’d follow you ‘till the ends of the earth.” He smiled, kissing the crown of her head. She felt her face warm up, a wide, euphoric smile crossing her face.   
“I wanna rent an apartment with you Kou, I wanna be a stupid millennial and pull all nighters and decorate and do stupid shit and be a dumb tourist with you, I wanna come home to you and… I wanna love you for a long, long time…” She looked up at him, her smile uncontrollable.  
She knew that she was never going to find a boy better than him,  
Koutarou sat dumbfounded, his mouth agape.   
“Babe!” He announced, tackling her onto the couch. “You’re so sweet that's the sweetest thing ever!” He hooted, peppering kisses along her neck.  
She squealed, throwing her head back and wrapping her legs around his torso.   
“You know when we were 15 and I’d always say I wanted to get married to you?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I meant it, I still mean it.” Her eyes widened, her grip on his shoulders tightening.   
She sat up and kissed him, softly and briefly, then resting her forehead against him.   
“We’re still 18…”  
“I don’t care.”  
“I love you.  
“I love you too.”  
“Come on now, let's go get our robes on. Graduation is in an hour.”  
They sat up from her bed, his hand in her and, they made eye contact and realized that life was going to be beautiful for a long time.


	6. Yamaguchi Tadashi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boy, do I love myself. Also, if anyone finds the hidden reference, let's get married.

“W-Why…” He whimpered, staring into the eyes of the other.  
“___ I love you…”   
The girl infront of him looked vaugely pissesd off.   
It wasn’t Tadashi’s fault he got so easily jealous.   
It wasn’t.  
It was.  
If she were to just look into another boy's eyes he would start doubting her love for him in its entirety.   
He knew it made no sense.   
But he couldn’t help it.   
“Tadashi, I love you but I’m getting pissed off with doing this every day.”   
Tadashi looked up at her dumbstruck, tears welling up in his eyes.  
She sat with a blank face, a blank expression.   
“Tadashi, I fucking love you I only, love you.” She said, exasperated.   
“Why can’t you just trust me?”  
Tadashi felt his lips twitch.   
“I-I’m sorry… I’m so annoying and whiny and clingy and I only want you to look at me… and boys to stay away from you…” he sniffled, his voice wavering.   
He was so lame.  
“Because I’m scared they’re going to take you away from me because they’re smarter and better looking than me-”  
His spiel got cut off by her covering his mouth with her hand.   
“Tadashi Yamaguchi. I only. Love. You.” She hissed. “Those boys mean nothing to me. Understand? Nothing. I don’t care if they like me and neither should you, you know why?”  
Tadashi shook his head.   
“Because they're scum, they’re photocopied, they're boring, and they are nothing more than the shitstain on God's underpants. It’s embarrassing. He tries to hide it. But to his avail, he can’t.”   
Tadashi laughed at this, the tension in her eyes disappearing.   
“Tadashi, please, please stop being so jealous. I mean god- It’s only natural but, I want to you to trust me to only love you.”   
Tadashi nodded, kissing the fingers over her mouth gently.   
She smiled.   
“Do you trust me, Tadashi?”  
“I trust you.” He hummed, taking her hand off of his mouth.   
She kissed him feverishly, tugging at his hair and softly scratching his scalp.   
Tadashi felt his head swirl, visions of hatred and jealously melting away like fabricated nothingness.  
Sucking and biting and gnawing at his lower lip until she he fell back against the bed, his limbs growing weak.   
Her hand slid down his thigh to the place she knew he loved, he jolted, his eyes, lidding, fluttering closing shut.   
She really did love him.   
She grabbed him by the waist, and held her as close to him as possible.   
“I love your little abundance of freckles and how they remind me of my beloved stars in the sky… I love your sense of humor and intelligence, I love your feeble heartedness but overall determination. I love your individuality and confidence to wear what nobody else does. I love that you don’t have confidence and I can be your crutch. I love your shyness and excitability. I love that you're passionate about what you love.” She began to titter, her loving eyes boring into his.  
Tadashi could melt on the spot.   
He giggled gleefully, and realized, in no way should such a being be talking about him as if he was ethereal.   
“I’m not done…” She cooed.   
“I love your body. It's beautiful, I don’t care what you say. You’re lanky and awkward but god, you’re so hot. So amazing. So delicious. I gave you my virginity because you’re the only person I can ever imagine doing such things with… I want to forever share my body, mind and soul with you because my non-fabricated being is a puzzle piece and you fit so snugly into it. You’re adorable, unique and beautiful in every way possible and I can never imagine living out my life with anyone else.”  
Tadashi felt a tight constricting in his chest, and the welling of tears in his eyes.   
He started to cry, an overwhelming feeling of admiration like no other flooding over him.   
“___…” He whined. “You’re making me cry…”   
“Should I continue my list?”  
Tadashi said nothing.   
“Well.... I love the way your nose scrunches up every time you get frustrated, and the way you flex your hands when you get nervous. It’s so cute when you lace your pinky through my belt loop when you don't want to hold my hand, and when you do hold my hand you hold on like you’re going to lose me, and you won’t lose me. Ever…”  
She still rambled on with a little glint in her eye and he thought it was miraculous that she could think of such things.   
Tears pathetically dribbled down his cheeks.   
He hated it.   
She kissed them away through her words, resting his head against her shoulder.   
She was so warm.   
Tadashi could literally scream.   
“I’m so sorry I ever doubted you…” He hummed, placing a bruising kiss on her neck.   
“It’s ok baby.”  
“It’s not ok.”  
“It’s ok.” She sniffled. “Just promise me you trust me. Trust that I’m going to be friends with guys and hang out with them but never love them. Because Tadashi…” She hummed. “If you can’t trust me, I don’t think I’ll be able to love you.”  
Tadashi felt his heart plummet at the words.  
But it was only fair.  
And only true.   
“But I do trust you.”   
“But not enough, huh?”  
“N-No…” He grumbled, growing frustrated.   
“I’d trust you with my life! I just hate when others look at you! Because you're mine…”   
Here comes possessive Tadashi.  
Oh no.   
“I’m yours…” She hummed in reply.   
“Only mine.”   
“Forever yours.”


End file.
